What defines me?

Back at it... while I am enjoying being back into a regular training schedule with a solid group of guys, it's a lot harder getting back into shape then I ever remember. But, I've learned where I am at physically has changed over the last few months. My time spent climbing, and backpacking doesn't really prepare me to be physically fit for a soccer season (not that I thought I was preparing for soccer by climbing). However, with not being as prepared as I thought I had been, it has shown in my performance on the field.

With my performance being below expectations, I have this crazy notion that I can no longer lead if I am not playing to the best of my ability. Instead, I've been challenged to remember that I am not defined by how I perform on the field. What will really show my true colors is how I react to my performance both in words and in actions.

The easy part is knowing that I have some ground to make up for as a player... but the hard part was conitnuing to lead new players as a player and as a sports minister. I found myself struck by silence, I felt that because I was not playing well I couldn't say things that needed to be said. With the encouragement of a teammate and some reflection, I was able to talk to the team and aplogizie for my unpreparedness as well as challenege everybody to pick up the slack in their own lives and training.

While the season is still early, we have 11 games left to come out of this 3 game losing streak and make a playoff run. Something that hasn't happened in 5 years. Still, whatever the end of the season has for me I have re-learned a valuable lesson. My identity is not in how I play, but how I reflect Jesus in my response to how I play. It is not how I perform at work, but how I glorify God while I at work. It is not from doing good things, it is from being loved by a God who is deserving of all my love and oftentimes doesn't recieve it.

I recently read in a book by Francis Chan, Crazy Love, that the ironic thing about God is that He doesn't need us... yet He still loves us. The reverse is that we need Him, and often times we do not give Him the love He deserves. Sometimes it has to start with remembering to love ourselves in our imperfections because God loves us in our imperfections. Shouldn't that be enough reason to love God and live a life free from sin?

Verse of the week:
Galations 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.