Surrender

In studying manhood with some of my male students at school, we have finally come to the topic of love.  Specifically, love as it pertains to our female counterparts, however the same message applies to most any relationship.  Love is always on the mind at some level; whether we long for lasting friendships or an intimate relationship, we are all thirsty for love.  The trouble is that we are humans, and we cannot love perfectly, or unconditionally, like Christ does.  Yet that is our mission. 

Guys and girls, the only way that we can fully know this love, and express this towards one another, is to be in complete surrender to God.  Allowing him to love through us, as willing servants of his perfect plan. 

I Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.   Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always, hopes, and always perseveres.

Love is patient and kind.

Surrender your will.  You can believe that love is a waiting game.  There is a time for love (especially as it relates to the opposite sex), but it is not just a waiting game.  We are simply imperfect people who are learning to love one another, and that my friends, takes patience.  When we let others down, or when others let us down, we should always respond out of patience and kindness.  How else are we to learn, how else are we to ever meet anyone’s expectations?  Just as Christ loves us, he is patiently waiting for us to understand.  He is never irritated, frustrated, or upset.  No, He kindly waits for us to know His love. 

Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Surrender your pride.  Love is not about me, and the moment it becomes that, it is no longer love.  Grace is not about us, but it is for us.  We are not saved by anything other than God’s love through grace.  We have nothing to boast about, because we do not deserve the love we are given, and still we take it for granted.

Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Surrender your emotions, feelings, and attractions.  Love is putting the condition of another’s heart above the condition of your own.  Knowing that people are imperfect, and people will disappoint, we cannot for a moment assume that we can use love for any self-gain.  The moment we do that, love becomes terribly destructive. 

 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.

Surrender your mind.  Love is honest, and it cannot grow in the midst of lies and manipulation.  More than anything else, love is faithful…  When God promises, He delivers.  This is the same for us, let your yes be yes, and your no be no.  Be consistent, if you say you will do something, follow through.  Likewise, do not commit to promises you cannot keep. 

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Surrender control, it is not by our power or will that we can love someone to this magnitude without first surrendering control. This is just one of the amazing truths about God’s love, it does not expire.  God is constantly pursuing us with love, regardless of whether we choose to love Him in return.  In a relationship, we need to fully commit to loving that person in their imperfectness, just as God loves us.  Godly love looks to protect the heart and well being, just as God wishes to keep us from harm and suffering through his guidance and provision. 

What does this mean in our relationships?

When looking for relationships with the opposite sex, there is one simple truth: to be able to love anyone else, especially the one we care for the most, we must love Jesus more…  we must surrender to the Love of Christ.  As humans trying to love, there will be heartache and pain because we still struggle with sin (pride, anger, control, and selfishness), but you must commit fully to loving with the same love that Christ has for us.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, do not settle for less than God’s best.   Be in constant preparation, and do not give your heart away carelessly.  Hide it in Christ, so that when it is found it will be found and established in Him.  We have created a cycle of broken and empty relationships, and we both have to work together to break this pattern.

Brothers, pursue Christ first and foremost.  Commit to protecting the hearts of your sisters in Christ.  Stand up for them, and encourage them towards what true love is.  Only when you are in complete surrender to Jesus, should you pursue a woman’s heart.  Remember, you are to love her with the same reckless abandonment as Christ has loved you in your imperfections. 

Likewise, Sisters, pursue Christ first.  Protect your heart, do not give it away freely; stand strong in God’s promises to you.  Know your worth and value as daughters of God, and encourage your brothers in Christ to become Godly leaders.

May we love as Christ loves us, may we be in complete surrender to Him.

You're Responsible: Read With Care

Last post I shared a bit of my heart, and how there are not enough young men stepping up into leadership roles and pursuing manhood…  and that there are very few older men out there investing in the young males of today.  However, I’ve started a new book call The Divine Mentor, by Wayne Cordeiro, and I feel like I missed a few key points and I want to make sure that Pastor Wayne gets full credit for many of the thoughts contained in this blog post.  While I was pretty rough on the guys last week, I think you girls should pay attention as well.

To start, what is the root of the problem for boys and girls today?  Is it that there aren’t enough males and females pouring into our youth?  Are parents to blame for doing everything for their children and never letting them learn how to live life on their own?  Is culture telling us that we should behave one way, when the Bible may suggest differently? 

Perhaps. 

But like all problems, there are usually many factors that will influence the outcome, but only one solution that we can control…  ourselves. 

Aspiring men and women, you and I have a choice to make no matter what our circumstances may be.  Are we taking care of our own responsibility to grow ourselves?  Or are we waiting for someone else to take over this responsibility for us?  This is the first step in addressing any of life’s problem- understanding that we are responsible for our own development. 

This does not mean that those we come in contact with will not heavily influence who we become.  But if we have a problem, we need to be the first to respond. 

We are not living in a State Farm commercial folks.  If you want a hot tub, then you better earn it. If you wish to be mentored, then you need to go find someone to mentor you.  If you need positive influences in your life, seek them out.  If you are not being fed spiritually, then open your Bible.  Do not sit and think that because you need guidance, or you need a mentor, that one will just pop out of thin air.  Guys and girls, we need to initiate the process of becoming men and women of God by understanding that it is our responsibility to grow ourselves… and we cannot expect others to do it for us. 

Yes, I do believe that God will provide us with plenty of relationships to help guide and lead our growth.  But if a problem presents itself, first think about what we can do to address our problems, and not wait for others to come along and solve them for us. 

Oh, and when there are no “mentors” readily available for us, why do we not look to the mentors of scripture that have been available to us for thousands of years?  Men, look to Moses, Joshua, David, Nehemiah and save yourself a lot of pain and suffering by learning from their mistakes and their successes as leaders appointed by God.  Women, why not look to Ruth, Esther, and Mary and see how you are to passionately pursue the love of God first and foremost? 

The bottom line:

MEN understand that we are responsible for becoming real men of God, and that even if there is no one here to tell us how, it is our duty to pursue manhood regardless.  We need to seek the answers to our many questions, expecting that they will not get answered until we pursue truth on our own. 

WOMEN understand that while men are responsible for their own development, you too are held to the same standards.  Look to the love of our Father first to fulfill your need for love, not from young men who do not fully understand how you should be loved.

Proverbs 4:7

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Life Giving

“Manhood is life giving.  Masculinity is best expressed when it is here for others.”
-Robert Lewis

What I have been convicted by lately is the extreme lack of males in leadership, especially spiritual leadership.  Men, please look around and tell me that these things are not true of our “masculinity”:

·      we don’t want to stir emotions

·      we don’t want to ruffle any feathers

·      we avoid conflict at all costs, the things we want are about our own personal success and well-being

·      we are perfectly okay in partially committed relationships

·      we do not understand the fragility of the female heart (we never fully will, but I’m talking about the complete disregard for the caring of a female heart)

·      we certainly don’t want to be held responsible for any of the fore mentioned issues… 

Okay, all of these may not apply to you, but I know there has to be at least one that does.    

Let me first say that I am not innocent of any of the charges, but I do desire change.  At our Men’s bible study last week we read an article the referenced Robert Lewis’ book, The Quest for Authentic Manhood.  One of the points he made about being Godly men is that we are purposed to give life, not take it. 

Now even if you aren’t taking life, it does not automatically mean you are living a life that is focused on the eternal either.  It is very easy to focus on finite goals, things that are just temporary and insignificant.  But in order to give life our hearts need to be awakened to things of eternal value.

I know it is easy to talk about, but let’s get going men.  As we pursue God, the things that make our heart hurt are the same things that hurt our Father’s heart. 

Guess what?  These issues of heartache are also issues of life, and giving life.  Meaning, these things of conviction hold significant meaning for the lives of others, especially when we act on them.  And that is exactly what we are called to do, act. 

What does that mean? It means that failure to act will not bring life to others… and we’ll continue to live as passive boys who don’t want to bother anyone because it is “not our place”.  Men, it is our place!

Convictions will be different for all of us, as God has a different plan for you than he does for me. As for myself, my heart hurts that our society is filled with boys who do not want to become men, or have very few men to teach them how… and I want to encourage a life that challenges them to discover what true masculinity is (while I pursue manhood for myself as well). 

I realize this posting has not given any real answers as to how to give life, the truth is I am still learning that myself.  But for starters, let’s stop focusing for one second on what our goals and dreams are, or how we are going to get the hottest girl, biggest house, and the fastest car, and let’s start focusing on the convictions placed on our hearts by God.  Come on boys, it’s time to be men… it’s time to give life. 

“So it is written: “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit. 

I Corinthians 15:45