Wellspring of Life

My mind tells me I am finite,
Though physically I am, my heart longs for that which is Infinite.

Life has broken my understanding of Love,
Though broken, my heart desires to be loved.

I desperately long to be accepted,
But money, success, and material nothings still leave me rejected by many.

Why do purpose and significance feel so far from me,
Is it because I pursue the dreams of others, and if I continue will I ever find them?

False pleasures and instant gratifications have a hold on me,
Superficial relationships and artificial highs have broken me in every way.

Why do I refuse to learn from life’s lessons,
Must I break myself one more time?

Can love, acceptance, and purpose be found,
Or does my finite humanity refuse to let me truly live?

If physically I remain finite, and the heart full of infinite potential and desire,
Might I let it lead me towards abundant life.

For this I believe,
From the heart springs wells of Life.
If one fails to lead with their heart,
One will fail to live.

Pursue Life then,
Search deep within the wellspring of your heart.
For that which is Living,
Will not be found among the dead.

Proverbs 4:23
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Faithful Friend

Many may be a friend,

But a faithful friend,

Who can be?

Show me love, and yes…

You may be a friend;

But teach me to love myself,

A faithful friend you will be.

Forgive me when I wrong you, and yes…

You may be a friend;

But forgive me when I fail to forgive you,

A faithful friend you will be.

Give to me kindness, and yes…

You may be a friend;

But give, needing nothing in return,

A faithful friend you will be.

Keep me from harm, and yes…

You may be a friend;

But grant me the freedom to experience pain,

A faithful friend you will be.

Encourage me, and yes…

You may be a friend;

But confront me in my destructive ways,

A faithful friend you will be.

Tell me what I want to hear, and yes…

You may be a friend;

But to always speak truthfully, even when it hurts,

A faithful friend you will be.

A friend may share your life’s journey,

And a friend may part ways.

But a Faithful Friend gives your journey life,

And his love always remains.

For many may be a friend,

But a faithful friend…

Which will you be?

From Life to Art

The beauty we’ve been given,

Is in that which is unseen;

And although unseen, we hold confidently to its’ reality

In a secret balance of faith and passion.

For a painter is not a painter,

Until he approaches his canvas.

A writer is not a writer,

Until she captures creativity through the power of words.

A traveler is not a traveler,

Until he courageously walks away from the security of certainty.

In everything we start with nothing,

Faithfully holding onto what could be;

And although we cannot foresee successes or failures,

With passion we must pursue Everything. 

The same holds true for love…

For a friend is not friend,

Nor a neighbor a neighbor,

Until kindness is given freely, expecting nothing in return.

A brother is not a brother,

Nor a sister a sister,

Until they have carried each other’s burdens.

A mother is not a mother,

Nor a father a father,

Until they experience true love’s sacrifice.

So in our desire to truly live

We must approach our canvas,

Walk courageously,

Carry one another’s burdens,

Love sacrificially,

And vulnerably embrace our imperfections,

It is here that life becomes art,

And our lives an empty canvas,

Waiting to be faithfully and passionately approached. 

Dedicated to my dear Aunt Debbie.

Risk is Right

“Risk is right.”- John Piper

I usually don’t encourage others to read a book until I have finished it, but I feel fairly confident about this one.  So if you are looking for a book with challenging theology and convicting arguments about life and purpose, you need to pick up Don’t Waste Your Life, by John Piper.  I’ll probably wait to finish the book to give my complete list of thoughts, but there has been one chapter that I just have to write about.  Now.

Throughout the book, John Piper has been speaking to many of my current convictions and feelings about American culture and American church culture.   He has encouraged the many questions I have been asking about my own life and their need to be asked, by everyone.  Am I pursuing a prosperous life that God wishes for me, or am I imposing what my own beliefs of what it means to be prosperous?  Am I grasping the magnitude of what God has purposed me for, or am I distracted by a comfortable life or this “enchantment of security” that John Piper says so many of us fall into?  Do I truly believe that God will prepare and provide for me, or do I need to be constantly worrying about my immediate needs?  Do I think my constant preparation for the future is to glorify God, or am I trying to minimize risk of living uncomfortably? 

That is just the short list…  I have had so many questions running through my head this last year that I don’t feel this list does it justice, but that’s not the focus.  The commonality among all these questions is asking on some level if I am living life in accordance with the Gospel?  For me I feel like my life is too safe, to easy, lacking too man relationships with hurting and broken people, and too risk free to “fit” into the pages of the New Testament.  This is why John Piper’s simple statement struck such a chord in my life.

Friends, “Risk is right”. 

“On the far side of every risk–even if it results in death—the love of God triumphs.  This is the faith that frees us to risk for the cause of God.  It is not heroism, or lust for adventure, or courageous self-reliance, or efforts to earn God’s favor.  It is childlike faith in the triumph of God’s love—that on the other side of all our risks, for the sake of righteousness, God will still be holding us.  We will be eternally satisfied in Him.  Nothing will have been wasted.” [emphasis added]

(Don't Waste Your Life, John Piper)

This may just be me, but I believe my call to follow Christ has been distracted by my comfort bubble too long, avoiding risk like we avoid that awkward admirer… the knowing that they are there but hoping that if you ignore them long enough maybe they’ll just go away, kind of thing.   If I truly let the God of the Bible prepare and provide for me, as he constantly promises, I think I would be willing to risk a little more for His sake and making His glory known. 

Friends, it is my hope that we can help each other learn to risk it all for the sake of Christ, sooner rather than later.  Today I ask you to consider the things that are keeping us from living the Gospel; only we can answer these questions for ourselves.  We have been given only one life; let’s not waste it. 

Romans 8:35-39

Who shall separate us from the Love of Christ?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  

Muscle Cars and Mexican Food

With only 5 days and $140 (could have easily been less if I had been 25 years old), I bopped around the Pacific Northwest meeting people, celebrating the wedding of my old roommate and his beautiful wife, and experiencing God around every corner.  I didn’t have much time to explore Seattle, Tri-cities, and Portland, but was there long enough to know that I want to go back. 

Grant and Laura’s wedding was beautiful.  Beautiful bride and bridesmaids, sharp groom and groomsmen, muscle cars, family, friends, and Mexican food…  all the secret ingredients to a perfect wedding.  Congratulations to the newly weds!  I am so glad was able to make it out there for the special occasion, and was grateful for the added bonus of doing a little traveling with my friend Ben Bosse (I saw some of the most interesting things while traveling with Ben) and being able to do a little exploring of my own. 

In all of this bouncing around Washington and Oregon, meeting new people and seeing old friends, I was reminded how much I love hearing people’s stories.  Where they are, how they got there, where they aspire to be, and how they feel God plays in to all of that.  Fortunately I met some pretty kind folks at the wedding, on the road and while visiting a friend at Portland Bible College (PBC), and everyone had a story.

Sarah was my ride to Portland.  She does interactive media for the Trailblazers, combines fashion and her love sports, and loves to tell it like it is… I learned a good bit sharing a ride with her, specifically that girls can know what they are talking about when it comes to sports.  Do not test her knowledge when it comes to Basketball, guys.

Dale helped me kill time at Safeway while waiting for my friend Ben to get off of work in Portland.  He recently turned 83 years old, enjoyed sharing prostate jokes, has been in Portland since 1953, is now currently on a diet per doctor’s orders, taught me the meaning of the word “tumescent”, and left me encouraged that one day I might be as young as him when I’m 83. 

While Dale and I didn’t share the same spiritual beliefs, I think his many years of living still left him with some wise words worth sharing.  Do everything that you can so you don’t miss anything you could have done.  Not bad advice for anyone, but could be greatly misleading if we only do things for ourselves.  I think he meant for this statement to be focused on both our own passions and love for others.  If any of my new friends in Portland are reading this, check in on my buddy Dale at the Safeway where NE Fremont runs into NE Sandy Blvd.  He likes to sit at the tables outside and watch for the moon between 5:30 and 7:00 pm. 

Solomon was a traveler we met with some friends from PBC on his way to Seattle. He reminded me that people aren’t always a product of their own decisions, and sometimes life is harder for some than it is for others.  Both of Solomon’s parents died by the time he was 13, was emancipated at 15, and has been traveling the country since 16.  He is 23 years old and loves to read.  Even though he seemed to have little, he was very content with what he did have.  I’m sure Solomon wouldn’t mind any extra prayers, if you remember it would be greatly appreciated. 

My friend Ben from high school introduced me to a ton of amazing people at PBC where he just started going not to long ago.  I didn’t get to spend as much time in conversation with many of them, but was incredibly encouraged by their faith, obedience, and pursuit of God.  What God did at PBC was truly amazing, and a total answer to prayer.  I am forever grateful for my short stay here and cannot wait until the next time I run into these friendly faces again.  Thanks to all of those who fed me, drove me around, prayed over me, and delivered some very prophetic words from the Lord.  God is certainly using you all for awesome, awesome things.  I will be thinking about you guys and praying for you often. 

As for now, back in Nashville… landscaping, cleaning pools, coaching soccer, teaching climbing, and just trusting in Jesus for whatever is next.  Adventure on, friends.

You have to live, you know?  If you want to go anywhere in the world, pick up a book and read it.

-Dale

Radical

I just finished reading the book, Radical, by David Platt.  In my digestion process I usually choose to write about things…  plus, I am still out of regular work, so this is what I do… journal. 

Did I enjoy the book?  I did, it was very thought provoking and convicting; at times it was also affirming of certain things that have been on my heart.  Yet, just like everything we read or see on television, I think we need to enter with the mindset that these are human thoughts and should be thoughtfully considered and even challenged.  Blind agreement can be dangerous, if we read something that parallels much of our own beliefs, we can often fall into believing the whole thing. 

I’m not writing this to say that I disagree with David in his book, yet there is much that I am still processing.  In fact, I would certainly recommend others to read it and would welcome their thoughts on this book and its message.  There are great arguments found in David's writing, and I think God has used this book to inspire many towards a radical pursuit of Jesus.  But at the end I am unsure if David missed something, I’m not even sure I can explain what it may be. 

Absolutely, I believe we are all called to a radical obedience of the gospel.  However, this may be very different for a lot of people, depending on their season of life.  Not only did Jesus call his disciples to give up everything and follow him, but I also believe that he entrusted others with large amounts of material possessions for His glory (just a few that come to mind are King David, Joseph, and Daniel).  God can use us where we are at, I fully believe this.  But, we must be soooo careful that we do not confuse where we are currently, with God’s will for us.  He has given us free will, that doesn’t mean that everything we decide, and do, is a part of God’s greater plan for us.  Only when we are walking in step with Jesus, will we more consistently make those decisions and choices that God wises for us as a part of His perfect plan (the whole draw near to God, and He will draw near to you idea). 

This is where my little disconnect with the book comes in.  I believe David, maybe unknowingly, has painted a picture that God has all called us all to go abroad, as soon as possible.  Yet it seems right though, "Go and make disciples of all nations..." (Matthew 26:19).  Honestly, I do not believe David intended for us to feel this, but I found it continually resonating in my mind the more I read.  Ironic enough, this is largely how I desire to live; but for myself, and for others who read this book, we felt that in order to be a committed Christ follower we must go abroad, and soon. 

I do believe God is calling many of us to give up everything and go.  Yet, I do not believe that God wills us to go with out preparation by studying the Bible, learning the language, or understanding the culture.  Nor do I believe he will ask many of us to walk away from all other responsibilities in our life. He has entrusted many of us with these responsibilities (families, finances, relationships, etc...) to be used for his Glory.  However, I do believe He can call any of us, at any moment, prepared or not, responsibilities or a lack there of, to go right now...  but I do not think this is how God calls everyone.  In fact, by Jesus’ example we see that he spent three years discipling twelve men before deploying them.  He prepared them, before sending them out.  If I can be certain of one thing it is this, God is preparing us, and He certainly desires to send us. 

It is quite likely that your time will come when you can, and should, give it all away.  I’ve been inspired by family friends who, after both of their kids left for college, sold everything to go work full time at an orphanage in Guatemala.  Still, before their kids went off to school they would make annual trips to this orphanage and give of themselves generously, as a family.  They raised their family in such a way as to prepare them to be deployed. 

So this is my take, where do we begin our radical obedience to God?  By getting on our knees, studying the Bible, and pursuing the heart of God with other Christ followers.  There is no cookie cutter way in which God works…  but He is working, and he will do crazy things in your life, and mine, when we radically pursue Him. 

II Corinthians 4:5
For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.

A Perfect Story… With a Few Imperfections

Since reading Don Miller’s book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, I’ve continued to reference life as a story.  It makes sense.  Everyone loves a good story, why wouldn’t we desire to live one?

Over the last few months I’ve started this little project, I write/talk to all sorts of people about what it means to be human.  Friends, family, strangers, and many of my friends from camp.  It has been the single most rewarding thing I have taken on, partly because in my own story I feel that this idea of “being human” will play a very important part of where I go and what I end up doing.

So after collecting my letters and going through my notes of conversations, I have decided that (actually it was most of the people that I have talked with) an important part about being human is being imperfect.  Or more importantly, how we react or respond to our imperfectness expresses our beliefs about being human. 

The truth is, we are imperfect.  We struggle with sin, we will disappoint someone, somewhere, at some time in our life, probably on multiple occasions.   Good thing the gospel reminds us that we are imperfect, finite people that God still wants to use us for His better story.  Thank the Lord for the witness of Paul, a person who was responsible for the mass murder of Christians in the early Church, yet after His encounter with Christ he became one of the greatest ambassadors for His glory.  And the Disciples, people just like you and me… imperfect…  yet when asked to surrender everything, they said yes.  When asked to be a part of a better story, they said yes.

Friends, our story is not about being perfect, we must be made perfect.  It is about knowing we are imperfect and being used for God’s perfect story.  Still, we have decisions to make, and at times we may make the wrong one; but thankfully we have a loving Father who so desperately wants to make us perfect, through Him.  I wish I could say that our journeys towards better stories will be easy.  At times it may be, but there will be many times that we are opposed because of the perfect story that has been set on our heart. 

If anything, our imperfectness should remind us of how desperately we need grace and how much we must depend on God.  We need to know that we are imperfect so that through us we can better demonstrate Love.  We need to understand that we are not capable of much without Him, but if we will let Him, He will use us to do great things. 

So understand that being imperfect does not mean that we are not useful, or that we are not capable of doing great good.  If our story includes the grace of Christ, we are capable of doing even bigger things than we could have ever imagined. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them.  And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.  We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.  We implore you on Christ’s behalf:  Be reconciled to God.  God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

II Corinthians 5:17-21

Live a Better Story.

I love Donald Miller.  The first book of his I read, Blue Like Jazz, was the first book that challenged me to understand faith as my own.  As much as I loved that book, it has taken me over four years to pick up another of his works, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.  Sure enough, I came across this book while looking for another book by a different author.

God has a way with “perfect timing”.  I’ve wanted to read this book for awhile, but I don’t think I was ready for it until now.  These last few months God has occupied much of my thoughts with questions about life’s purpose and meaning, both for myself and for others.  Ironically, this is what Miller is writing about... at least that is what I believe I am reading about. 

Life (being human, purpose, meaning, whatever you want to call it) is very much like a story, it is our story.  Do we truly want our story to be simply about our pursuit of comfortable living?  Do we want our story to be simple at all?  I don’t. 

That’s where Miller’s challenge comes in.  Live a better story.  You and I, whether you believe our lives to be spoken into existence by God or not, have been given control of our own story.  The pages to our future are unwritten.  They are not written for me, and they are not written for you either.  You and I have the opportunity to write our futures, to write successes and failures, adventures and misadventures.  Or, we can write a simple story, of avoiding conflict, playing it safe, taking care of ourselves, not risking anything.  We can write a boring story, if that is what we want. 

Even though we have been called into existence for a purpose, our future is our own.  However, "writing" our story should still include learning to trust and depend fully on God’s plan for us, which I hardly doubt is a simple, comfortable, and meaningless life.  Still, He has created us for a purpose and given us the opportunity to live for something greater, live for something other than ourselves, live in faith.  This is the exciting part about being human, having the ability to make our own decisions, step out in faith, and live out the adventure that God has purposed us for.

So here is my question to you (and me).  When someone else tells our story, what will they say?  Will it be about comfortable living, free from risk?  Or will it be about struggle, conflict, and adventure?  Do you believe that God has written us into existence so that we can live comfortably, or for something more?  How will we live a better story?

Psalm 139:16

“All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.”

May you...

Compliments to Katilyn White for sharing this benediction about becoming human, author unknown. 

May you be blessed with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you will live deep in your heart.

May you be blessed with anger at injustice, oppression and the exploitation of people and the Earth, so that you will work for Justice, Equity and Peace.

May you be blessed with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you will reach out your hand to comfort them and change their pain into joy.

And may you be blessed with foolishness to think you can make a difference in the world, so that you will do the things which others say cannot be done.

As God’s own, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, and patience, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, and crown all these things with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Glory be to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, it is now, and so shall be forever and ever. Allelujah! Amen.

Becoming Human

I would like to first thank all of you who have played a big part in encouraging me to this point.  These ideas are certainly not my own and are a result of MANY God inspired conversations and relationships that have developed over the last four or five months.  Some from old friends, and some from people I had only known for hours…  I am so grateful for you all. 

Many of you may know of my plans to travel to Central and South America in January.  What simply started as a dream of mine has been completely transformed by God into something bigger than I could have ever imagined.  While I will still be “traveling”, I have been challenged to trust that God’s plans for me are much better than my own… and if I just let God be God, He will use me and my passions to do great things. 

That brings me to where I am now.  During my travels, I plan to encourage various missionaries and ministries who are committed to serving in their various countries for an extended period of time.  If there is a “need” to be met, I plan to help raise support for those needs.  They may or may not require me actually carrying them out, but I hope to encourage in any way possible.  Lastly, in addition to helping serve and learning first hand about different languages and culture, this pilgrimage is about much more.  Through my experiences and relationships formed a long the way, I hope to further understand what it means to be human, and what our responsibilities to humanity are. 

I know this question sounds incredibly vague, that is because it is…  I am not hoping to find a single right answer, but hopefully gain perspective from all walks of life on the simple subject of being human.  What does it mean to be human, what inspires us, what drives us, what are our goals, what are our responsibilities as humans?  These are just a few questions that have been occupying my mind in some form for several months now. 

After multiple conversations that have been nothing less than God inspired, I believe that God is using young people to challenge and shape culture.  This world needs people in all walks of life, in each generation, to challenge the way we are expected to live life.  Not everyone is called to live simply, but everyone is called to something bigger than what we know or what we are told; climbing the corporate ladder, collecting material possessions, or saving up for a comfortable retirement.  Please do not confuse these words for me saying that possessions or savings are bad, they aren’t.  However we do not need multiple cars, we do not need TV’s in every room, we do not need clothes for every day of the year. 

In searching for what it means to be human, regardless of spiritual beliefs, I believe that we will find our ability to feel, discern, plan for the future, comes with a responsibility to help those who are not as fortunate as ourselves.  It may not be that everyone needs a financial donation, or medical relief…  maybe some of us need to remember that we should be more intentional about what we say.  And when we ask someone, “How are you?” we should care enough to listen to what they have to say. 

Honestly, I do not know what it means to be human…  I believe I am asking an age old question that will require an incredible amount of time and research to even begin to understand what our responsibilities to humanity are, probably more time than I will ever know. 

So here is my invitation to you; whether I have sent you this link asking for your assistance, or if you have simply stumbled across this post accidentally, I would greatly appreciate your thoughts and input on any of the following questions about becoming human.

·      What does it mean to be human?

·      What are our responsibilities as humans to humanity, if any?

·      What drives us, what inspires us as humans?

·      Maybe you have a question of your own that you’d like to start looking into, I encourage you to share it.

There is no right or wrong answer; answers can be based on the physical, mental, social, psychological, metaphysical, spiritual, or even none of the aforementioned concepts. Feel free to pull from personal experience and even include references to literature and other helpful resources.  I do not have any expectations of what I will find, but I assure you that anything I receive will be shared with all of you...  

Thanks to all for your taking the time to read these thoughts, and for sharing in this journey of becoming human.   

-Called to love-

Please feel free post responses as comments or e-mail them to me at:
pbandcy@gmail.com

1 John 3:16-18

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down or lives for our brothers.  If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.